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Important – Blog moving!

I’ve decided to move my blog over to mastinas.blogspot.com because that blog will allow flash/javascript widgets to be added… I have a special reason for adding a javascript widget… ;) go to my new blog and see why!

Just a thought

Has humans felt the need to oppose God’s will and order of things ever since the temptation of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? Is that the reason why women have felt the need to dress and behave like men?

“No one and nothing* should have the power over me! I should be free to try everything and decide for my self how to live my life. Anyone not free to do this, has her human rights restrained, and must be freed!”

*Applying to God, my husband/father, moral, faith, etc. Failing to recognize the power the fashion industry have over people…

That’s why Muslims covering according to their tradition/faith are seen as oppressed, and in need of society’s helping hand to free them. And why women working part-time is a bad thing, because the no. one want for a woman should be to work full time. The maternity leave should be divided evenly between the parents, giving both mother and father 6 months at home with the baby. The housework is also to be divided evenly between the man and woman, not acknowledging that most women tend to see more things to be done at home than does the man… I wonder why?

I disapprove of this evenly division of everything between the sexes… I think we’re created differently for a reason, and that we do have different qualities that should be appreciated to the same extent.

Be submissive

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (1. Peter 3:1-2)

But what does submissive actually mean? In everyday life for example?

Wives should be subject to their husbands, not from dread and amazement, but from desire to do well, and please God. The husband’s duty to the wife implies giving due respect unto her, and maintaining her authority, protecting her, and placing trust in her. (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on the Bible)

This passage may have been misused by power seeking or dominant men over the years, and that is perhaps why women of the western societies see this principle as invalid today. But the following passage places makes it clear to the husband.

7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1. Peter 3:7)

My father misused his role as a man, father and husband. He’s dominant and completely lacking empathy. As a result I have a problem with being submissive to men in general (like in the work place, in my own marriage and so on), because I’m afraid they’ll misuse their role and seek to uncover my weak points and use them in order to gain power over me. As a result I’ve actually tried to get power over my husband. But as I’ve identified why I do this, and also after having read other women’s stories about how they became more at peace when following the order of the Father, I’ve realised that this is the right thing. Most of the time I see that my husband isn’t trying to dominate me, but at other times his behavior may remind me of my father’s and I get upset.

Now I need to practice being submissive, and also study the subject – because I need to establish what submissive actually means to me in my everyday-life. I won’t go to the other side of the scale and become a doormat or suppress all my feelings, opinions and wants, waiting for him to ask me about it. He doesn’t read my mind. ;) Although that would at some times be a good thing…

Feminine and modest clothes

This is some of what the Bible says about feminine and modest clothes:

Deuteronomy 22:5 (New King James Version): 5 “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God.” – usually interpreted as meaning that women should dress like women and not like men, i.e. using skirts and dresses, not pants.

1 Timothy 2:8-10 (New King James Version): “that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” – usually understood as meaning that women can wear gold and pearls and braided hair, but it should not be used as a means to become beautiful, it is the good works of a godly woman, and her inner self, that should be the beautification of her. It is that she should focus on, and work towards in order to distinguish herself from the rest of the world. The world was and still is, too preoccupied with a person’s looks and outer appearance.

In this last passage there’s also mentioned that the woman should wear modest clothes. What exactly is modest clothes? The interpretations differ. Does the skirt have to be at ankle length or mid-calf or slightly covering the knee? (anything shorter is considered un-modest by most) And what about the tops? Do they have to have long sleeves or is half-sleeves enough? No sleeves is considered un-modest by most) How tight or loose fitted? Can one have tailored/fitted shirts/tops showing curves or not?

There’s no official teaching/guidelines from the Catholic Church about what makes clothes modest and not. One’s asked to cover ones shoulders and wear knee-length skirts or shorts when going to church, and of course cover ones tummy, but what about everyday-life? I mean, I pray more outside church than inside, simply because most of my time is spent outside of church. If I’m to be modest inside the church where the Lord is present, I think I should be outside as well, as the Lord is present everywhere! I think it would’ve been nice if the Church made some clear guidelines all believers should follow.

I try to make my own rules, and looks at what others are saying. But, I can see a diversion in opinions everywhere. Muslims are required to cover everything but their hands and face. But some Muslims cover for example their arms with tight fitted long-sleeves T-shirts. Is that more modest than a loose-fitted t-shirt with half-sleeves? An I see many Muslims wearing trousers and jeans, perhaps that’s considered modest, I don’t know. most Christians doesn’t care much about the modesty issue, I think. A lot of young Christian females wear tight fitted t-shirts and singlets, and also have deep necklines. Only a few observe the only skirts and dresses rule. Most wear whatever the fashion dictates. You can’t see if a person is Christian or not, because she might be wearing a cross, but so might a lot of others do, because its a fashion item!

I wonder what happened in the 20th century that made women discard thousands years long traditions… For as long as people have worn clothes, it was the rule for women to wear dresses/skirts and they’ve always been ankle long. But somehow women stopped doing that, and the skirts became calf-long and then knee-long and then mini-skirts barely covering anything.  And the hair could be cut short, as a man’s, and one stopped covering ones head when in public. Why? And was it all good?

Couldn’t women obtain their rights and freedom looking like a woman? Where’s the appreciation of the difference between man and woman? If God had wanted us to be the same, he’d created us the same. But He created us different so that we could fulfill each other! We’re supposed to look different, be different, excel at different things!

Tuesday morning feelings

Right now I feel like going out of my workplace and buy something. What? Perhaps something to eat, so that I can reduce the sad and empty feeling inside me. And perhaps something to cheer me up – a new shoulderbag, a piece of jewelry?

Earlier today I’ve spent (thrown away) NOK 100,- (≈USD 20,-) on a pregnancy test. But of course the test was negative, and now I’m just sad, angry and disappointed. I thought that we’d timed it so good this time, but apparently not. I’m disillusioned and the only thing I want is to go home and go to bed and sleep… get away from everything. I canceled my participation in a meeting at work, couldn’t manage to face the others and be productive. I feel like crying it out loud, and to have everyone feel pity for me because I don’t get to have another child…

Unfortunately, there’s a possible chance that the test was taken too early, despite the period being due today. It’s normal for me to have the period start a week later, because the ovulation didn’t take place when I thought it would. My system’s not reliable, and that makes it difficult to know when things should happen. If only the test could be like an x-ray picture of my stomach, and I would see if the uterus is empty or not… Unfortunately – that’s because I can hope for another week or so for a better result than today. Unless of course my period starts in the meantime.

I know perfectly well that nothing gets better by eating or buying anything. Perhaps for a short period of time, but not in the long run. Then I blame myself for having eaten sweets and chocolate or buying things I don’t need, and I get even sadder or angrier.

Monday morning thoughts

Most of my thoughts today center around the “new baby” issue… will my period start today or tomorrow as scheduled? Should I take a test to see whether a new baby is in its first development inside me, or is it simply a waste of time and money? (I’ve taken numerous tests earlier this year when waiting for my period – and all have been negative) I’m not as pms ridden as usual, but this differ from period to period as well. I wish my system was on the clock punctual and that if my period was one day or week late, I could be certain that it was due to pregnancy. But, unfortunately, that’s not me! Its perfectly normal for me to wait everything from a day to a couple of weeks extra for my period to begin. Hence, the conceiving thing is somewhat tricky – because it isn’t possible to pinpoint the exact days certain activities should take place…

I try not to think about this too much, as I know that could have impact on my chances to become pregnant. But because this is something I want very much, it’s hard to not think about it! I should try to talk to God about it, and put it in His hands. I must admit that that’s a thing I’ve problems with doing. In important cases, like this, I don’t rely fully on God, and I somehow think that I should fix it myself. Because when I ordered a new baby from God, He didn’t deliver, and I’m disappointed with Him. Why couldn’t He give me a second child when I started wanting it? If I’m not pregnant now, and becomes pregnant later this year, I would have to be pregnant during the hot summer months… and me being a “hot” person, that’s not something I’d enjoy. I did it the last time, and it wasn’t comfortable at all! (My firstborn is born in September) And the age difference between the two will be larger.

I have some sharp pains at both sides of my stomach, deep down – almost where my thighs begin. I remember having pains at these sides at the early stages of my previous pregnancy, but dare I think these are the same?

Today it’s two weeks since I stopped eating chocolates and sweets (again). I’ve already lost 0,6 kg. And I’m satisfied with my achievements. My main motivation is becoming more fertile, and also be able to do more without becoming tired. I wont loose weight in a hurry, and become super slim. My main goal is to loose 20 kg in 1,5 year. That’s a reasonable time, and it means that I don’t have to be on a diet all the time. Being on a diet removes my want to eat anything, giving me bad consciousness if I should eat, and that’s not a good thing. I do this my way, all on my own, that gives me a feeling of control, and that’s something I need!

I’ve also been in modest and feminine clothes everyday for the past two weeks. I’ve worn skirts and modest tops. My skirts have different lengths, some are summer skirts knee length, others are more autumn/winter and have longer lengths. I really like wearing skirts! But I have some difficulties with being more visible – as women around me doesn’t wear skirts as the rule, but sometimes… There’s a destructive feeling inside me because I’m dressing femininely. I try to overhear this inner thought, but… it isn’t easy… and it drains me of my energy!

Afraid of Christianity!

Read in the newspaper that in a new textbook, to be used in a subject called Religion and Ethics, for the Norwegian primary, or was it secondary, school the notions B.C and A.D. are replaced by something like After Ordinary Time counting (AOT) (bad translation), being religion neutral! :(

I think this is just stupid! The notions have been used since forever, and now the textbook authors have to make up a new notion simply because the book should be neutral to all religions.

Its a main tendency in Norway, to remove all references to religion from the public space and becoming neutral. I can’t see why that’s so important! Norway’s been a Christian country since 1030 AD, and why do we need to remove that reference from peoples’ everyday lives and make it something for the history interested. If any of our immigrants are troubled by Norway being a Christian country, they need to adjust themselves, or go somewhere else. But I don’t think it’s the immigrants that complains, I think it’s secular people around in various leading positions, trying to remove the Christian faith and all its references, because religion doesn’t mean anything to them.

Norwegians doesn’t seem to need a God to believe in. One’s satisfied with oneself and ones’ life, and if not, its only one person who can fix it, and that’s oneself! It’s a very self oriented society, where the aims are to realize ones utmost potentials, taking less care of hurting someone or sacrificing someone in the process.

I don’t like it nor do I approve of it. Although we have a lot of benefits in this country, we’re at the top, or among the top) of the countries when it comes to suicides and depressions. That’s a warning signal of a cold and harsh society!

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