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Just a thought

Has humans felt the need to oppose God’s will and order of things ever since the temptation of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? Is that the reason why women have felt the need to dress and behave like men?

“No one and nothing* should have the power over me! I should be free to try everything and decide for my self how to live my life. Anyone not free to do this, has her human rights restrained, and must be freed!”

*Applying to God, my husband/father, moral, faith, etc. Failing to recognize the power the fashion industry have over people…

That’s why Muslims covering according to their tradition/faith are seen as oppressed, and in need of society’s helping hand to free them. And why women working part-time is a bad thing, because the no. one want for a woman should be to work full time. The maternity leave should be divided evenly between the parents, giving both mother and father 6 months at home with the baby. The housework is also to be divided evenly between the man and woman, not acknowledging that most women tend to see more things to be done at home than does the man… I wonder why?

I disapprove of this evenly division of everything between the sexes… I think we’re created differently for a reason, and that we do have different qualities that should be appreciated to the same extent.


Afraid of Christianity!

Read in the newspaper that in a new textbook, to be used in a subject called Religion and Ethics, for the Norwegian primary, or was it secondary, school the notions B.C and A.D. are replaced by something like After Ordinary Time counting (AOT) (bad translation), being religion neutral! ūüė¶

I think this is just stupid! The notions have been used since forever, and now the textbook authors have to make up a new notion simply because the book should be neutral to all religions.

Its a main tendency in Norway, to remove all references to religion from the public space and becoming neutral. I can’t see why that’s so important! Norway’s been a Christian country since 1030 AD, and why do we need to remove that reference from peoples’ everyday lives and make it something for the history interested. If any of our immigrants are troubled by Norway being a Christian country, they need to adjust themselves, or go somewhere else. But I don’t think it’s the immigrants that complains, I think it’s secular people around in various leading positions, trying to remove the Christian faith and all its references, because religion doesn’t mean anything to them.

Norwegians doesn’t seem to need a God to believe in. One’s satisfied with oneself and ones’ life, and if not, its only one person who can fix it, and that’s oneself! It’s a very self oriented society, where the aims are to realize ones utmost potentials, taking less care of hurting someone or sacrificing someone in the process.

I don’t like it nor do I approve of it. Although we have a lot of benefits in this country, we’re at the top, or among the top) of the countries when it comes to suicides and depressions. That’s a warning signal of a cold and harsh society!

Why niqab?

Some weeks ago I saw two women wearing all black, like in this picture, even black gloves, and it made me wonder why they do. I felt sorry for them, as I saw their dress as a prison. I can’t understand why it is necessary for a woman to cover herself this much, as though she’s trying to be invisible! I can’t see how that’s liberating to the woman.

I’ve done some internet searching and found an answer to the niqab question. I suppose that muslimahs around the world disagree upon the need to use niqab or simply the hijab, as they disagree about a lot of other hijab issues. (Hijab both in the sense of the veil and in the sense of modest clothing.)

In general muslim women should wear modest clothes, not drawing attention to their appearance or body. It seems as though most think that a veil covering the hair and neck, is needed in order to complete the modest attire. See explanation below.

Syed maintains that when a woman is covered, men cannot judge her by her appearance but are forced to evaluate her by her personality, character, and morals. “I tell them that the hijab is not a responsibility, it’s a right given to me by my Creator who knows us best. It’s a benefit to me, so why not? It’s something every woman should strive to get and should want.”

The young woman admits to being surprised that many people wonder if she wears the hijab everywhere (at home, when sleeping, in the shower). The truth is that Muslim women only cover themselves in front of men who are not direct relatives (brothers, fathers, and uncles) to prevent indecent acts or thoughts. (From “Why do Muslim women wear the hijab?” Eighteen year old Canadian Muslimah¬†Sumayyah¬†Syed explains.)

I’ve also read that the Prophet Muhammad¬†explains the covering of women as a mean of protecting what is beatiful. I can’t recall the exact words, but it had something to do with hiding ones gems/pearls. It was in fact a beatiful sentence/excerpt.

According to Al-Muhajabah¬†(meaning she who wears Islamic dress) niqab (see picture with woman in black) is an even better way of seeking to obtain the love of Allah. It is a prolonging of the hijab, covering even more, and harder to wear etc All this resulting in niqab being even better than hijab in means of keeping private what is meant to be private. She states that there’s not an explicit reference to niqab in the Quran, but makes reference to some other text and the fact that the Prophet’s wifes surely wore niqab. (For a full understanding and explanation, visit the www.muhajabah.com pages)

To me a niqab still looks as a prison for women, but now I know why someone choose this.

Bristol Palin (a good role model)

First of all I’d like to say that it’s strange for a foreigner following the US presidential election from the outside, how much of the presidential and vice-presidential candidates’ personal life and history has to be¬†dug out and scrutinised. I mean, a person seeking presidential (or vice-p.) power can’t go through their lives without hurting anyone or doing any mistakes! I’v read about mr Palin’s drunk driving 22 (!) years ago, about mrs Palin’s past as a beauty contest participant, and of course about Bristol Palin, their unmarried dautghter’s pregnancy.

Of course¬†miss Palin¬†should’ve waited to have sex until she was married, but for some reason she didn’t, and her choice to have the baby and take the responsability of her actions should make her a role model to other unmarried pregnant teen-agers, and their families, who should be supportive and helpful with taking care of the unplanned blessing arriving.

Whether Bristol Palin had chosen to have her baby hadn’t her mother been a VP candidate or high profile pro-life politician, we’ll probably never know. We all do mistakes in our lives, and criticising Bristol Palin and reminding her about how much her teen-age pregnancy has disappointed her parents, that’s, in my opinion, just mean. It’s her mother that has chosen to become a vice-president candidate, not Bristol Palin. Suddenly this young woman is being written about and spoked about all around the country and overseas. She’s used to her mother being the Alaskan governor, but the state isn’t one of the more important states in the US, and thus the governor and her family had remained fairly unknown to the rest of the world up until now. We should all bear in mind, that living with strict moral rules and parents carying very much about the family members’ public apperance and the family’s honor and image, and so on, could make anyone wanting to rebel. Perhaps miss Bristol wanted to rebel against her mother being a super mom – or at least the public image of her being one – taking care of her five children, husband, work, having a baby with Down’s syndrome, etc. (Even I feel a need to rebel against her – no one does everything right! Everyone has some weaknesses and flaws, otherwise they wouldn’t have been human!)

And, take a look at these pictures of miss Palin and her baby brother Trig. She looks so calm, so caring, it’s like the baby’s hers and she’s so happy with it. Of all the pictures I’ve seen at the Internet from this event, mrs Palin holds him only on a couple of the pictures, and while holding him she also checks her Blueberry and speak in her cell phone. Miss Palin, however, seems content about holding and caring for her baby brother. Had I been mrs Palin, I would have carried my beautiful baby son everywhere so that everyone could have seen him and seen how proud I was of him. But the child she’s bringing along is Piper, the 6 yrs old girl. Her larger girls, Willow and Bristol tags along in the background, carrying baby Trig and his stuff.

Mrs Palin appeals to me in many ways, she’s a christian, conservative (however somewhat selective about what to be conservative about), mother of five, pro-life, beautiful yet modest,¬†and so on. (There are also things I don’t agree upon, but I’ll leave them for now – not that it matters, I’m not eligible to vote anyhow.) But, the main thing I dislike about her (based upon my knowledge of her from the media) is that it seems as though baby Trig is in her way. Everyone salutes her for having him despite their knowledge of him having Down’s syndrome, and despite her being the Alaskan governor. But, she returned to work three days after giving birth to him… and now, during this presidential election campaign, how much time will she have to establish the very important bonds between a mother and her child? She’snt even the one carrying him around when greeting people… to me, that’s not right, and it’s signalling that he’s not that important to her… I must confess that a woman, a mother of small children, seeking this much power, that puzzles me… I don’t understand it. I mean, mrs Clinton, she’s a mother, but her daughter’s grown up, and she has only one, I understand her want to become a powerful person. But mrs Palin, no. She’snt finished with mothering being her no. 1 priority, and now she wants to show the world that a mother with small children also can become a vice president. Someone’s going to suffer from this, and I’m afraid it’s the baby and her other children.

This is perhaps her once in a lifetime chance to become something as important as a vice-president, but it’s also her once in a lifetime chance to establish the first important bonds to her little baby son. Choosing her career in stead of her children, that’s not what I would have done. And being a conservative christian, I can’t see how that’s something she would do either.

Homemaker according to God’s will

4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2 (New King James Version))

I’m trying to live according to this, but I’ve¬†only just started on this journey of becoming a “Titus 2 woman”. Due to my father being a psycho-/sociopat (what is the difference?) treating me as his servant, over time I built a¬†lot of anger inside me, and I’ve been¬†determined to not let anyone boss me around like he did. This resulted in me letting my husband do all the housework, cooking and so on. I sought to do less than him, afraid of him becoming my household slave master, like my father was, if I showed him that I too could do some housework. But as my husband is in all manners different from my father (except in the fact that they’re both men), I have nothing to fear.

And, in the recent year, I’ve felt as though my husband manages¬†the household so well without me, that there’s no room for me. He’s¬†only doing the housework¬†because he’s kind to me, but I’ve come to think that he’s doing too much.¬†In doing almost all the household chores, he’s pushed me out of my home in some sort. I¬†think that the woman should be¬†the¬†main homemaker, the one responsible for¬†all the household chores,¬†and that the husband can¬†help her by doing some housework delegated to him by the wife.¬†I’ve seen that when my husband is away on business trips, and I’m responsible for all the household in that period, I’m proud of¬†the work I do, and I’m¬†doing what’s right for me. And it gives me¬†more meaning to my life –¬†I’m needed! I have a role to fill, I have tasks to do.

The family is the main component¬†of a¬†society. That’s the Church’s teaching. The man and the wife have both important roles to fill in¬†the family.¬†To me,¬†it’s difficult to understand how¬†so many women with a family can¬†aspire towards personal realisation through work outside of home. Of course, if one is certain that ones home and family doesn’t suffer from the outside work,¬†one¬†can aspire towards having a career. But that would require the woman to be some sort of super-woman, both able to be a mother, wife, homemaker, and career woman. Or, if all the housework is done by someone else, the career thing¬†would be possible. But one still need enough energy¬†to be a mother and a wife. Even¬†though the Churc teaches that a marriage should¬†be open for children, I think that some people should¬†not have kids. It’s better for a couple¬†pursuing their careers and not open for any other priorities, to refrain from having children, than for them to have¬†children that are unhapy because both parents work too much.

I’m a fan of peoples’ right to choose what’s best for one self. I don’t think we should go back to the fifties where only the unmarried, or widowed women worked. But I think that more women should choose¬†part-time work, or even quitting work for a period, in order to devote themselves to their family and children. As not all women are suited to have children, I don’t want it to become an obligation, but I think it should be a different focus in the¬†society. We need to admire the ones devoting themselves to¬†others, in stead of admiring ego-sentric people aspiring towards¬†the¬†fullfilment of their personal goals, not considering the¬†consequences on others.

Miss Headscarf 2008 in Denmark!

Denmark’s National Broadcaster, Danmarks Radio, has had a Miss Headscarf competition, where any women wearing a headscarf could enter by sending a photo of themselves wearing a headscarf. And here is the winner and the runner ups. Unfortunately, the text is only in Danish, so if you’re having trouble understanding the words, send me a comment and I’ll translate for you. The text showing is the name of the winner and the runner ups and their ages. √Ör=years. And the other text is some fashion experts’ comments about the headscarf. Positive comments about the colours and patterns on the headscarf, and that wearing a headscarf the way these women does, doesn’t make them unstylish.

I wonder when we’ll see a worldwide competition of this?! Or, perhaps, in the muslim dominated countries, there’s such a thing already?

Josef and Elisabeth F.

This is the worst case of incest abuse I’ve ever heard of! It’s impossble to imagine what could have made this man do such things to his own daughter. He’s clearly a person without any form of empathy. And the various media (TV, newspapers etc) work hard to give us all possible details of this horror history. Why? to sell more of course! If a media soruce is the first one to report some “important” news, that helps build it’s image as a reliable and quick newssource.

Curious about the case, most people read/listen/view a lot in the beginning, then – fed up by all the horrific details, one tunes out and wander off to read/hear/view something else. And the attention is lost.

What makes me extra sad about this, is that following the discovery of such an horror, should be a massive information campaign teaching people how to look for similar cases in their surroundings, and what do to if one suspects incestous actions happening. Who to contact, what to say to the possible victim to ask for the truth etc. This could help reduce the amount of incest or other abuse.

Because of my personal experience with incest I know that “normal” people does these things all around the world. (Of course, not all to this extent.) And the same thing happen everytime; people told about the incest actions of a certain person, doesn’t believe it, because they’ve never seen anything. How long will it take before people start to understand that persons they think are all good and kind, can do evil things? And that abusers often (I’ll say in most cases) are normal people just like one self, and that they hide the abuse very well!? They’re masters of disguising their evil actions, and the victims are masters of hiding the abuse as they feel ashamed and partly guilty. Help from outside is needed.

I’m sure that this Josef F. case in Austria isn’t the only one of this extent and seriousity. It’s just that nobody have talked about them, neither the abuser nor the abuse victim. Please, all victims, talk about your experience, but choose your listeners with care! Talk about it in victim support groups, to your psychologic therapeut, on the Internet… Do not keep silent with your experiences! You’re not helping anyone by keeping silent! (I know, I’ve tried, and I only punished myself!) It’s never your fault!