Be submissive

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (1. Peter 3:1-2)

But what does submissive actually mean? In everyday life for example?

Wives should be subject to their husbands, not from dread and amazement, but from desire to do well, and please God. The husband’s duty to the wife implies giving due respect unto her, and maintaining her authority, protecting her, and placing trust in her. (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on the Bible)

This passage may have been misused by power seeking or dominant men over the years, and that is perhaps why women of the western societies see this principle as invalid today. But the following passage places makes it clear to the husband.

7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1. Peter 3:7)

My father misused his role as a man, father and husband. He’s dominant and completely lacking empathy. As a result I have a problem with being submissive to men in general (like in the work place, in my own marriage and so on), because I’m afraid they’ll misuse their role and seek to uncover my weak points and use them in order to gain power over me. As a result I’ve actually tried to get power over my husband. But as I’ve identified why I do this, and also after having read other women’s stories about how they became more at peace when following the order of the Father, I’ve realised that this is the right thing. Most of the time I see that my husband isn’t trying to dominate me, but at other times his behavior may remind me of my father’s and I get upset.

Now I need to practice being submissive, and also study the subject – because I need to establish what submissive actually means to me in my everyday-life. I won’t go to the other side of the scale and become a doormat or suppress all my feelings, opinions and wants, waiting for him to ask me about it. He doesn’t read my mind. 😉 Although that would at some times be a good thing…